nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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