i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
