Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
