Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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