I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
