Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
