WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Life is so much better after having sex.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
