This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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