Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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