Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
