is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
