woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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