i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
