he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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