umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
