It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
