one might say we're banned from that church
I've blown a few things in my day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
