Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
