How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
