i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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