Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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