Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize