forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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