You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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