Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize