You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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