he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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