Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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