today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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