New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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