At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
