after a month anything with tits is on the radar
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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