Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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