you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
