Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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