last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
