my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
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his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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