those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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