No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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