There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
