Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize