Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
