This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
