I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
