I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
