Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
