It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
