ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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