Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
