never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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