Kiss
Puke
Do you still have your period?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
