You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
