No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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