Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A bitchslap is in order.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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