It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
