he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Houston, we have a blender
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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