I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The air was thick with penises
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize