id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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