There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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